If you were wondering why I decided to call myself a “secret drama addict”, it’s because only my closest friends know that I’m a big Kpop fan and of course, a drama addict. I don’t know about you, but I sometimes don’t feel accepted because I don’t follow American pop culture. In some cases, I also feel “uncultured” as they say it because I don’t know iconic figures. (Okay, it’s not that bad, but I have a bad memory for names, unless they’re Korean singers/group/actors/actresses. Also, I don’t want to be racist, but everyone literally looks the same to me; yet, I can identify and distinguish all the celebrities I follow.)
But overall, I just find it hard to talk to people and for me to connect with them. Even people who watch anime and keep up with maybe only anime feel a little better than me. Maybe because more people watch anime? Or is it just because anime is accepted in our culture and kdramas aren’t? I’m sure not hanging out with the wrong people. Like I’ve said before, I don’t connect well with people who have absolutely no idea about Korean entertainment. This is just how I feel whenever I’m with people who listen to different music, watch different entertainment than me; maybe you feel otherwise.
And it just hit me like this:
Maybe it’s because I keep it in so much that I can’t find anyone who connects well with me. So, I feel so unwelcomed in such a society because I have no idea what other people are talking about. And because I feel unwelcomed, I keep it in me. So it just goes in a cycle?
But now I ask myself, do I just care too much about how people think of me?
I don’t even know anymore.